时间:2020-08-01 18:50:12




写作中用词不准确是很容易犯的毛病,good,terrible,see,nice,kind,greatly,think,know,something 等词汇在摩鑫平台作文中反复出现。这些词本身并没有问题,是英语常用词,但是它们表达的意思过于模糊,很多情况下,应该使用意义更加准确的词。况且,学生老是使用这几个词会给人以表达形式单调,词汇量贫乏,文章缺乏感染力的印象。



1.Original: Solving trivial problems in the dorm will add your social experience and helpyou to understand other people’s feelings and learn to be kind.

Revised: Solving trivial problems in the dorm will enrich your social experience andhelp you to understand other people’s feelings andlearn to be considerate.





2. Original:Science and technology have greatly influenced our lives and our society ischanging very rapidly.

Revised:Science and technology have come to pervade every aspect of our lives and, as aresult, society is changing at a speed which is quite unprecedented.


greatly,rapidly 属于常用词,表示程度高、速度快,这样的词在表达效果上不够具体,缺乏说服力,在修改后的句子中用了pervade every aspect of our lives就具体生动地表现出科技的影响力到底有多大,其影响力已渗透到我们生活的方方面面,at a speed which is quite unprecedented意为“以一种前所未有的速度”,形象地道出了变化速度之快。

3.Original: Young people tend to think that real life is as nice and interestingas it is in the novels and movies, while more experienced adults think thiskind of naive daydream will only be destroyed by later experiences and everyone should learn to get used to common everyday life.

Revised:Young people tend to think that real life is as dramatic and fascinating as itis in the novels and movies, while more experienced adults think this kind ofnaive daydream will only be destroyed by later experiences and every one shouldlearn to get used to tedious everyday life.




托福写作解析:An important skill


Topic:An important skill

What is a very important skill a person should learn in order to be successful in the world today? Choose one skill and use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.






Success has been an issue broadly discussed and defined by different approaches. Some say that being successful means being wealthy. Others associate success with popularity and power. A third approach would relate success with social and emotional well-being. So we come to the questions: “When can be someone considered successful?” and “What skills make success easier to achieve?"

In order to answer the second question, we should have a point of view about what success is. I consider that someone is really successful when that person is able to handle and enjoy social relationships. A leader can be powerful and recognized, but if he is unable to enjoy his leadership and feels lonely because he cannot establish a deep friendship, can we really say such leader is successful? On the other hand, a wealthy person may have all the possessions money can buy, but again, what if he cannot manage a marriage or a friendship? This person is likely to feel lonely and unsatisfied.

Developing social abilities may be a very helpful skill for a person to learn, in order to be successful in the social emotional side of his or her life. One ability to develop could be effective and assertive communication. Many misunderstandings and conflicts can be prevented if we express our ideas clearly and respectfully, and if we learn to ask for clarification when we feel threatened or offended by something someone told us. Another ability could be learning to handle teamwork. We need to learn to work with others at work, at home, at school, in our community. Getting into an agreement with our parents, children, coworkers and friends is a situation that can become hard to handle sometimes. Dealing with teamwork can be really helpful. Finally we could add the ability to deal with conflicts with others and conflicts with our own wishes or decisions. We will always find obstacles in our paths; it can be quite useful to know how to overcome them.

In my opinion, I would define success as being able to enjoy what you have, what you do and who you deal with everyday. And to achieve success, you should have skills that help you handle relationships with your peers. We are social creatures; we need each other to succeed, and to enjoy our success.

托福写作解析:A vehicle that changed people's lives

托福写作题目:A vehicle that changed people's lives

Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people's lives.




Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.








An airplane is a form of transportation that has changed people's lives. Thanks to the plane, our lives are now faster, more exciting, and more convenient that before. You cannot deny that a plane is fast. For example, the Concorde flies at supersonic speed. A businessman can leave Paris at 11 a.m. in the morning and arrive in New York at 8 a.m. the same morning in time for a day's work. Many business people in Europe will fly to London for a noon meeting and then return home to Rome or Madrid for dinner.

It is always exciting to take a plane trip. When you take a trip by plane, you know that you might cross many time zones, many oceans, and many countries. When you get off the plane, you could be in a place that speaks a different language. A plane is like a magician's trick. You get in a box and you come out somewhere totally different.

Nothing can beat the convenience of a plane. In the old days, it might take you days to do what the plane can do it an hour. Boats, for example, only leave on certain days of the week and take a long time to get to their destination. Planes give you the option to leave several times a day and get you to your destination quickly.

Although other forms of transportation may be more comfortable ,none has changed the way we do business and live our lives more than the plane. Thanks to the speed, excitement, and convenience of the planes, our lives are richer.

托福写作解析:Why people attend college


Why people attend college?

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.



为了实现理想(ideal; idealistic)为了保证将来的就业机会 父母要求子女上大学 别人都上大学了,所以自己也选择读书 找不到工作。


After graduating from high school many young people have the option to directly enter the work force. Most students who have the opportunity, however, decide to go to college before finding jobs (They attend college to obtain more choices,higher salaries, and more opportunities for advancement in an increasingly competitive job market. Before attending college, students have a limited opportunity to specialize. After obtaining a specific college degree a job applicant can be competitive for previously unavailable jobs.

For instance, applicants with Computer Science degrees would not only be qualified for jobs in hightech companies, they would also be well prepared for any job with computer skills as a prerequisite. With a larger range of potential jobs to choose from, degree holders are more likely to find a job that suits their particular needs and interests.

Additionally, employers are willing to pay a premium for highly qualified applicants. For example, many companies desire employees who are competent in more than one language and offer higher salaries to attract them.

Even if a job applicant without a college degree has high standardized test scores, employers may still place a higher value on an applicant with similar test scores who also possesses credentials from a wellknown university. Because of the extent to which a college degree is accepted by employers as proof of competence in a given field, college graduates are not only more likely to receive more job offers, they can also command higher salaries than applicants who lack college diplomas.

Finally, in addition to offering more choices and higher salaries, a college degree offers access to jobs with a clear path towards professional advancement. A B.S. in biology, for example, could allow a student to find a job in a lab after graduation, a first step on the road towards a career in scientific research. The same major could also be used to apply to medical school, and a career as a doctor. Both of these avenues would